Stories of unraveling, exhaustion, and the quiet courage it takes to stop performing and start listening.
There comes a moment when the life you built no longer fits the body living it.
Becoming is where the unraveling begins. Not because something is wrong with you, but because something honest is finally being allowed to surface. These reflections explore burnout, identity, cultural expectations, and the quiet courage it takes to stop performing strength and start listening to what your nervous system has been trying to say all along.
This is not about becoming more.
It is about becoming truer—by gently letting go of what no longer serves.
If you are exhausted, disillusioned, or quietly questioning the life you’re living, you are in the right place.
At the heart of my journey is a simple but powerful vision: To live—and help others live—with joy, purpose, and abundance.
I believe we are all here to serve, to grow, and to heal—and I’ve dedicated my work to creating spaces where that becomes possible. My path is guided by a deep calling to be of service to others, to walk alongside those navigating life’s challenges, and to create a world rooted in safety, compassion, and meaning.
I chose neuro-based coaching because it aligns with how I believe true transformation happens: gently, intentionally, and from the inside out. The brain is a living, changing system—and when we work with it, not against it, change becomes not just possible, but sustainable.
This work is about more than goals. It’s about helping people reconnect with themselves, reclaim their calm, and step into lives that feel more like home.
My core values shape every coaching relationship I hold:
Do no harm—to self or others
Kindness—radically offered to self and extended to others
Compassion—that walks with pain, not around it
Honesty—rooted in love, not fear
Courageous vulnerability—because that’s where the real magic lives
Every client I work with is held in a space of intentional care—where safety, faith, and trust are nurtured. I aim to provide comfort even in discomfort, and to support you as you create a life of deep impact—not just for yourself, but as a ripple of compassion for others.
This is why I coach. To walk with others toward the joy, abundance, and peace that they were always meant to claim.
“Imbokodo” My Foot: A Journey from Burnout to Becoming
When the Strong One Breaks
My name is Mantha Makume a 46-year-old South African woman, a mother, a former corporate high-flyer, and now, a woman in healing. This blog post is an intimate reflection of a journey I didn’t sign up for, but one I’m fully walking. It is for me, and it’s for every woman who has ever been told to “hold the knife by the sharp end.”
The Breaking Point
It all began, ironically, with a simple question at work. I wasn’t feeling well, teary, anxious, sleep-deprived, and running on fumes. I thought maybe I was just dealing with a bout of hormonal fluctuations. But when I tried to push through another full day of meetings, I knew something had to give. I told a colleague I wasn’t well and asked to reschedule our meeting. She replied with a simple question: “Did you send me that document?”
That’s when I stopped breathing. Literally. I couldn’t breathe. I hyperventilated, I cried, and I screamed, loudly, uncontrollably, painfully. In a professional environment, in front of colleagues, I unravelled. My mind, body, and spirit had nothing left to give.
The Shame of Burnout
That moment triggered a tsunami of shame. How does a high achiever, someone who ticks all the boxes break like this? How would I face my colleagues? What would people say?
I drove home and cried. I cried harder than I’ve ever cried in my life. For hours. I stayed in bed, and for what felt like days, I couldn’t do anything except breathe… barely.
I had been booked off work for a month. I was diagnosed with burnout and extreme exhaustion. It wasn’t just work. It was life. Parenting. Daughtering. Sistering. Friending. Being all things to all people. I was completely overwhelmed. At the time I thought I broke my brain, even requesting a neurological exam (yes..I am dramatic), because my brain was the only thing I could count on, a precious commodity, especially for the type of work I was paid for.
When the Body Decides for You
Looking back, there were signs: brain fog, chest pains, chronic insomnia, and a gnawing sense of dread, lack of desire to perform even the most mundane of tasks. But I pushed through…until my body made the choice for me. I physically and emotionally crashed.
It became clear that I had to start a new journey; one of healing, of understanding, of reclaiming myself. I began to speak openly about my burnout. When people asked, “How are you?” I began to respond honestly: “I’m burnt out. Thanks for asking.”
Peeling Off the Labels
Burnout forced me into deep reflection. I questioned the expectations I had placed on myself and those placed on me by family, society, and the corporate world. Who am I beneath the labels of “strong Black woman,” “go-getter,” and “Imbokodo”?
“Imbokodo” is a term often used in South Africa to describe a woman who is strong, tough, and unbreakable. It’s meant to honour resilience, but at what cost? I also explored the Sesotho saying Mosadi o tswara thipa ka bohaleng—“a woman holds the knife by the sharp end.” These cultural accolades often glorify suffering, self-sacrifice, and silence.
And I’m tired. Tired of being the strong one. Tired of being the achiever. Tired of leaning in (what was I leaning into anyway, I lost sight of that) . I don’t want to be “hard.” I want to be heard.
From Breakdown to Breakthrough
I started therapy. I began taking medication. And I asked myself the hardest question: Who are you, Mantha? What makes you tick? What do you expect of yourself, and what do others expect of you? Why have you allowed those expectations to define your worth?
This journey made me re-evaluate everything including the curriculum of my life. The metrics I used to measure success were killing me softly. I had to ask: are these societal pressures sustainable? Is this how I want to live?
What It Means to Be a Woman—Really
As we mark Women’s Month, I can’t help but interrogate the very idea of womanhood. Are the labels and accolades meant to empower us or trap us? Do they remind us of our worth, or do they burden us further?
For me, this journey is no longer about becoming more. It’s about unbecoming letting go of what no longer serves me, even if it once brought applause.
An Invitation to Walk With Me
So, here I am. A South African woman, mom, daughter,sister, friend, colleague. I show up in spaces filled with different people of varying ages, races, genders, religions—and I ask: Where do I fit in? Who am I in this vast social ecosystem?
As someone who believes in mentorship and legacy, I also ask: What example am I setting for those who come behind me? The phrases we hear growing up “have it all” and “do it all flawlessly” “lean in” are romantic, but dangerous.
I invite you to walk with me. Let’s question everything. Let’s redefine everything. Let’s deconstruct what it means to be a woman, a mom, a professional—and let’s rebuild on our own terms.
Final Thoughts: Beyond the Labels
I chose to grow connected to my soul, my purpose, my being. A bold, exhausted rejection of the myth of the indestructible woman. I don’t want to be superhuman. I want to be human.
I want to be heard. I want to be hugged. I want to say “I can’t” or “I won’t” without being seen as weak or rebellious.
So, if you’re reading this and nodding; even silently. I invite you to walk with me, to question with me, to unlearn with me.
